7 unexpected things about divorce that you can learn

Binding the sacred promise of a lifetime, until death separates. Sometimes, storms come into your household and make this sacred promise forced to deny. Divorced with a partner, for one reason or another. Make you single again, or be a single parent for your baby.Behind the bitterness, disappointment, sadness, and anger you feel in your divorce, there is something worth keeping. Reasons that you do not wallow in a black hole. Wisdom that encourages  you to stay ahead and welcome tomorrow. Here are 7 meaningful lessons you will find from divorce.

1. Marriage is not a percentage share of the contribution
When you go through something with someone, you often ask, what percentage of each contribution should we give? There is a revealing, marriage means husband and wife alike have portions equally 50-50. There is also a confirmation, husband and wife must give 100 percent to the household mahligai.

To be honest, there’s never a right percentage in marriage. Husbands and wives need to complement each other and manage expectations of each other. When you are so tired, spouse fills the shortfall. However, when both of you are not in top condition, make peace with the situation. Going through the days together with the pair with the target system salesperson? Get ready with the conflicts that bombard you because of the disappointment of unexpected expectations.

2. The frequency of sex does not reflect the quality of your marriage
Intimacy in marriage is indeed a powerful glue. Unfortunately, misunderstandings often occur when intimacy is always associated with sex. When you feel your relationship with your partner cools, and immediately the problem of the bed that you fix first. Know, the frequency of your sexual relationship with your partner is not an indicator of the quality of your marriage. Intimacy can be built in various ways. A kiss when going to the office, holding hands while walking, or a warm hug at the end of a hard day. For some people, sex is seen as a mere distribution of passion, with no connection in it. Evaluate your relationship not only from the side of sex and do not hesitate to take action when you feel the discomfort in your marriage.

3. You have time to fix yourself
Admit, when you marry, you strip off “me”, merge into “us”. Many sacrifices you make, until you are no longer like single first. Call it changed appearance, because your preening time spent taking care of the child. Sacrifice the ideal to go to school, work, or study for the sake of family. When you divorce, you have a chance to become “me” back. Certainly not an egoism, if you want to appear outside shine. Confidence will keep you upbeat through the day, right? Convince yourself that you are entitled to live out the choices you like and best for you.

4. The present is much more important than the past
Divorce occurs, you begin to review everything that happened back there. Considering the first seconds you connect, the beginning of marriage, until the day to day that you live together. Why I’m not like this, why is she so. A million questions flashed and brought a stack of remorse in your heart. The stage of repentance continues into denial, drowning in sorrow from loss. Until finally, you arrive at a point, where you realize, no matter how much you weep and cry, the day will keep going. There’s nothing you can do but save the past and move forward.

5. Children will learn to appreciate failure
Not a few married couples who force to survive for the sake of children. The shadow of the broken home family with the gloomy future children is so strongly haunting. In fact, as long as you and your (former) spouse keep a good relationship behind this bitter separation, your children will understand. Gain the sincere affection of both parents throughout their lives, though not together. Many valuable lessons they can learn. Kate Winslet, a popular British actress, who also suffered multiple marital failures, delivered the same thing. “Divorce will teach children to struggle,” he was quoted as saying by British media Independent. Failure is inevitable in life. Efforts not to give up and rise from adversity, are the important points that will shape the character of a tough human, in the future.

6. Not only one party is responsible
Divorce is identical to finding “who is wrong and responsible”. You and your partner are both defending themselves, trying to find a gap, often lead to anger and hatred. What

This is the reason why divorce should not make you traumatize to start a relationship again

Divorce can cause deep wounds that discourage people from starting a new relationship. How to solve it? Pengacara Perceraian You should not wallow in your grief and suffering caused by the divorce. Pengacara Perceraian No matter how miserable feelings are in your heart, you must keep building and building new relationships that will close your wound. Some people are in a hurry to find someone else to heal the wound. Pengacara Perceraian This is also a mistake because the possibility that person is not the right person for you, otherwise maybe just a result of “rebound love”. You just think love the person, in fact you just want to treat your heart wound.

Pengacara Perceraian

I know someone who when his wife abandoned him, he feels the world has collapsed. His experience made him shock and very sad. They are indeed experiencing trials in their couples relationship because there are other men. But the husband did not think that his wife could do that. One day after work, he did not find his wife’s children welcoming as usual. Then he noticed the wedding band that was usually attached to his wife’s fingers left on the dining table. Instantly she felt like she was hit by a train. He does not know where they are going, but he is very much in love with his wife and children. Finally after a while the wife told her that they were living with her parents who had just moved to another place.

For two years the husband tried to persuade his wife to return to him. She felt so tortured that she could not see her children every day. If the tears are accommodated it may be able to fill an empty swimming pool. He can only see his children once a week, when they are not in school. It was a torture for him, because these innocent and small children, did not understand why their parents were no longer living in the same house. If he invites the children to eat out, a rather large child will say, “We used to eat here with mama.” How does this tough-looking, gentle-looking man feel uncomfortable?

By Christmas they spent with their husbands feeling the hope that his wife will return. But unfortunately, the hope was empty, the wife said that there was already another man in his heart. Faced with the harsh reality that the man said that they should divorce. After his divorce, the husband busied himself with his work and his togetherness with his children at the weekend. Several times he tried to connect with other women, but always failed. Finally after a year of divorce he meets a nice, beautiful and loving woman. Only then did he feel comforted to find a new companion who loved his children as well.

In trauma the husband does not isolate himself, but opens his heart to get acquainted with others. Not only women, but also men who want to understand the situation and give him lots of advice and comfort. He also brings himself closer to God to gain strength. Parents, relatives and friends help him so much that he does not despair and be patient. He is also busy fostering his career to succeed. When he finally got married again he realized that there are still people who want to love him and sail the ark of life with him.